Misery, Laughter, and Light Sabers
by derangedcoconut
Summary: What will happen when Lorelai goes to a party, alone, and sees Christopher, alone? Will it mess up her relationship with Luke? Sequel to Puzzle Pieces, Pinocchio, and 27 Cups of Coffee. Read that first.


Misery, Laughter, and Light Sabers  
  
  
  
Author's Note: This is a sequel to Puzzle Pieces, Pinocchio, and 27 Cups of Coffee. If you're just looking into this, it's best if you read that first. This isn't a short story, though. I'll be posting chapters as I get more reviews and as I write them. So please review.  
  
Feedback: Review, please. And my e-mail's on my profile page. I'll accept any types of constructive criticism, but if it sounds like a flame, I'll delete it. As long as it entails to any way I can improve, or suggestions on what to include in the future, I'll take it. And I also enjoy anything that utters approval. Thank you, and when you finish, don't forget to visit our sponsor, the review button! HAVE A GOOD DAY!  
  
Disclaimers: I am not in any way the WB or Amy Sherman-Palladino. Although I wish occasionally that I could write like her…  
  
Rating: PG-13 for my bad kissing descriptions in one part of this chapter…  
  
Miscellaneous: I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts… lalalalala…  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Settings: Friday night, 7:41pm Place: The Gilmore mansion  
  
"Lorelai, your cousin Will is hosting a banquet in honor of his making partner in the law firm on Sunday night."  
  
"Will? Will the over-achiever? /Will/ he be wearing leather shoes? I simply /adore/ the taste of freshly tanned cow. In fact, may I bring hot sauce? It enhan-"  
  
"Please stop. Control yourself. Your jokes aren't funny."  
  
"Well, it's the truth. Just look at his track record. Junior high school: Valedictorian in the eighth grade. Me third in my class. High school. In the twelfth grade, he was valedictorian again."  
  
"Well, that's because…"  
  
"Ugh, be quiet, mom. He's always been better than me at everything. I did the best I could, and he went out of his way to do better. If he robbed a bank, you'd be saying, I can hear you now, 'Oh, Lorelai, why can't you be like Will? If you had robbed a bank, it would've made me sooo proud… so why didn't you?'"  
  
"I wouldn't have said that."  
  
"Aha! Denial! A state of tendency to deny the truth! You're only saying that because /you/ know you would've."  
  
"That's a dreadful thing to say, Lorelai."  
  
"You say that because it's the truth."  
  
"It isn't."  
  
"Is too."  
  
"Is /not/!"  
  
"You say that because you know you'd fail a polygraph test… I can see it in your eyes." Lorelai giggled with satisfaction.  
  
"You can not."  
  
Rory looked from left to right, at Lorelai and Emily. "Okay, who's Will? I'm sorry for interrupting, but no one ever explained that."  
  
Lorelai glanced at her daughter in apology. "I'm sorry. I forgot you were here, I was so busy arguing with Attila the Hun here."  
  
Rory glanced back at Lorelai. "Here I am… back from the parallel universe."  
  
"Well, glad to see you back. How was parallel universe Rory?"  
  
"As formidable as usual. She said to tell you to get on with explaining."  
  
"Next time you see her, give her a punch in the eye for me, will you?" Lorelai grinned.  
  
Emily looked over at the two of them. "So are you going to explain Will to Rory or not?"  
  
"Hmm, I was just about to, but if you'd like to, Queen Emily, by all means, your highness, please do."  
  
"All right then. And don't call me that. Even though it is very flattering. Rory, Will is your second cousin."  
  
Lorelai piped up, "And he's the only second generation boy child in a family of first generation men. And he's a month older than me. And he's always looked down at me."  
  
Emily rolled her eyes. "Ignore that last sentence. He has not."  
  
Rory looked from left to right, again. "Uh, so he's my second cousin, he's a month older than mom, he's the only guy grandchild in a family of guys, is there anything else you wish to add?"  
  
Emily nodded. "Lorelai, he's invited you to the banquet I was telling you about. And you've got to come; I promised him you would, and it would be an embarrassment to Har-"  
  
Lorelai poked at her asparagus. "Hartford society and the Gilmores. Yes, I know. And yadda yadda yadda yadda, and likewise."  
  
"Christopher Hayden is coming, too. I hear he's broken up with Sherrie for some reason or another…"  
  
"Mom, don't start. I'm not in the mood."  
  
"You can finally have your chance with him… You always should've been there instead of /her/."  
  
"Mom, thanks for dinner, it was great. Tell dad I said hello when he gets back from Albuquerque."  
  
Lorelai got up from her seat and retrieved her leather jacket from the coat closet, and walked out the front door.  
  
Emily called after her, "I don't know what's the matter. It's the truth."  
  
Rory got up from her chair and walked over to her grandmother, pecking her on the cheek. "Bye, grandma."  
  
"Bye, Rory."  
  
She in turn got her jacket from the coat closet, and walked out the door.  
  
-----  
  
Lorelai muttered. "I don't know why she's telling me that, Chris wouldn't ever speak to me again and if I saw him at a party, he wouldn't even look at me, and I'm with Luke now and I love him and…" She was interrupted by Rory's getting into the front seat.  
  
"What was that all about? Why haven't you told grandma about Luke?"  
  
"I don't want to talk about it. Chris and I got into a fight right before he left. And I will tell mom about Luke… sometime."  
  
Lorelai frowned slightly. /It's been weeks now since he said that...Why am I still stung?/ she thought.  
  
Rory looked at her mother. "Okay…" She didn't like to see Lorelai frown like that. She knew it meant something.  
  
-----  
  
Back at the house, Lorelai was scrounging around in the kitchen. "Hey, Rory! Wanna invite Lucas over? We can have a movie night!"  
  
"Okay, what movie?"  
  
"Hmm, I wonder what's on. Can you look at the guide channel thingy?" She paused. "OOOH! I found a bag of popcorn in the pantry! It doesn't look so bad, either!"  
  
"What's the expiration date?"  
  
"Uh, let's see… March the 3rd."  
  
"Throw it away."  
  
"But it still crunches a little…"  
  
"Throw it away, mom."  
  
"Oh, all right. Let's get Luke to make us some cheeseburgers."  
  
"Hey, look, Star Wars comes on in 30 minutes."  
  
"Foom, fooom…" Lorelai made fun of the light sabers.  
  
"Use the force, my son…"  
  
"Hmm, I'll call our ever-willing slave."  
  
"Okay."  
  
-----  
  
Luke came over in 20 minutes, but without the cheeseburgers. "They'll kill you," he'd said over the phone.  
  
Lorelai opened the door for him. "Hey, babes."  
  
Luke raised eyebrows. "Babes?"  
  
"Mmhm, babes." She kissed him.  
  
He kissed her back, and said, "First Lucas, and now babes? I see what Lorelai Gilmore has done to me… make up names. Even for my spatula."  
  
"Buuut you love me, dooon't yoooou?" She whined.  
  
He shrugged, and held up a brown paper bag. "I brought you coffee, didn't I?"  
  
"YAAAY!" She hugged him.  
  
"It'll kill you from the inside out. Enjoy it."  
  
"Sure will. It's a Lucas Gilmore cuppa. You really should market that stuff. It would sell better than Starbucks."  
  
"So you've told me countless times."  
  
-----  
  
"Fooom, foooooom… foooooom…." Lorelai mocked the light sabers, even before the movie began.  
  
Luke looked at Rory. "Does she ever run out of batteries?"  
  
"Nope. She's like the Energizer bunny."  
  
"I guess I should know that by now."  
  
"Yep."  
  
-----  
  
"Once upon a time, far far away…" Lorelai said in a deep voice.  
  
"… there was a coffee addict that wouldn't shut up…" Luke finished.  
  
"…and a diner man that just kept on making coffee for her…" Lorelai started again.  
  
Rory finished. "…and they both ended up being tales of gossip in a small town…"  
  
"…and it's stopped scrolling…" Luke interjected.  
  
Lorelai nodded. "Dun dun duuuun…"  
  
-----  
  
"Foooooom… fooooooooom… fooooooooom…"  
  
Finally, there were Lorelai's light sabers.  
  
"Finally, there are your light sabers, Lorelai." Luke rolled his eyes.  
  
"Quiet, Han."  
  
Rory muttered, "Are you supposed to be Ms. Donut Haired Senator-Princess?"  
  
"Yep." Lorelai started to twist her hair into the shape of a donut, like Laia's, bouncing on Luke's lap.  
  
"Stop bouncing so I can see."  
  
"Never."  
  
He held her shoulders. "Well, are you stopped now?"  
  
"Mmhm, but only in solitary confinement."  
  
-----  
  
  
  
"Hey! Luke! Put that light saber away! Stop swinging it around!" Lorelai giggled and winked suggestively at Luke.  
  
He just shook his head.  
  
Lorelai continued, "Luke, don't point it at Laia like that! Put your light saber back where it's supposed to be! Hey! Don't play with it! It's solid! It might cut you!"  
  
Rory rolled her eyes. "Mom, you've had too much coffee."  
  
"I told her that 20 minutes ago. I might have to take her somewhere to shut her up if she continues."  
  
"Ooh, where? Where?"  
  
"Nevermind."  
  
"LUKE! REALLY! You shouldn't be pointing your light saber at Obi-Wan… that's just wrong."  
  
"All right, that's it."  
  
Luke picked her up and took her up the stairs.  
  
-----  
  
Three hours later, Luke and Lorelai were laying on her bed.  
  
"Uh, Luke… there's this party on Sunday night I /have/ to go to…"  
  
"And you don't want to go alone?"  
  
"Nope."  
  
"Can't take you. I'll be gone to get Jess again, and I've gotta visit some family up there. I might be gone for 4 days."  
  
"Damn… then we've got to make this last." She got on top of him again, kissing him.  
  
He parted her lips with his tongue, and wrapped his arms around her, feeling her shiver as he did so.  
  
-----  
  
In the morning, Lorelai frowned down at the sleeping Luke, still in his arms. She had just realized she'd have to go alone, which meant Emily would force Christopher on her. And worse still, she might be vulnerable enough alone to actually go along with that.  
  
She had planned to bring Luke to the banquet and tell her mother that she was with him, but now had a slight change of plans… she didn't know when she'd tell her. And how.  
  
-----  
  
So, what do you think? I've pretty much got chapter two in my head. I just haven't gotten it down on paper yet. Lorelai flinches when she sees Chris at the banquet/party, and then unwinds, and then… well, you'll have to read it. I'll put it up after I finish writing it and when I've seen that some reviews are up. PLEASE review. And only you can prevent your house from being attacked by an arsonist. Did I mention, please please please review? I'll be your best friend and your slave for life. Just kidding. Don't get that look in your eye. 


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